Character

Your don't really know what it character is or how much of it you have until it's tested

Photo: Larry Day

Just because you are a character doesn’t mean that you have character. The Wolf: Pulp Fiction

The world is mostly a wonderful place. I say it all the time, and I truly think it to be so. I’m also a big believer in the precept that every day above ground is a good one. But the world is certainly not a perfect place, and some days above ground are indisputably better than others. Maybe it’s actually better that way. Challenges give us opportunities to grow and improve.

It’s been said that failure generally teaches us much more than success. True that. It’s when the chips are down that you truly figure out who you are. I wish that success was as good of a master, but years of bitter experience have taught me that it is not. You learn a lot more about self-improvement from getting your butt kicked than you do from spraying champagne in the winner’s locker room.

My own life, like many others, has been a mixture of great and not-so-great, with the former dominating the latter. In my case, if I had a do-over, I’d do very few things differently because all of my decisions, including my mistakes, eventually led me to good places. I’ve always believed that better days were ahead. I still do.

Much of my own character was forged in the crucible of mountain adventures, on long bicycle rides, and in the cramped cockpits of various road racing motorcycles. Through these undertakings, I learned knowledge, discipline, friendship, respect for objective circumstances, the value of hard work, tenacity, dedication, and never getting discouraged or throwing in the towel. Most of these, I think, are good values.

But I also developed the notion through the years that, with enough effort, I could fix anything. These days, I’m not so sure that’s always wise or true. I also learned to keep moving ahead at all costs and worry about alternative timelines later on. Every day is, after all, an opportunity for a new start. On these points, right or wrong, I’m increasingly convinced as I get older that most of the rest of the world does not see things the same way. I have some work to do figuring this out.

No matter what your character happens to be, I’m reasonably sure that in the grand scheme of things (whatever that may be), the goals are to 1) be all that you can be and 2) remain true to who you are at all times. The former is a lifelong endeavor; the latter is easy right up until it’s not. You never really know what your character is until it’s tested. And if you have not succeeded in forging good character, you might not like where you find yourself when the going gets rough.

I am speaking from experience here. As hard as I’ve worked to be the best that I can be, it has not always panned out. I don’t think that it was for lack of effort, but that is neither here nor there; sometimes I’ve failed to live up to my own standards. That’s simply the long, tall, and short of it. It’s a hard thing to accept, but it’s reality. And while it’s not exactly solace, I’m sure that I have plenty of company in this regard.

The world is an imperfect place. It’s a genuine struggle, at times, to deal with what life puts in front of you as the best version of yourself. Sometimes you can pull it off; other times, not so much. But I believe that as long as you don’t give up on yourself and keep trying to be the best version of yourself that you can be, you have a chance to be better the next time a challenge presents itself. Put your head down, ignore as much of the chaff as you can, and keep grinding.

That’s really all the advice I’ve got for you, me, and everyone else. Other than that, all I have to share is my own confusion. There’s a lot of that, too.

All of this is easier said than done, and again, I’m speaking from experience. I’ve set standards that I’ve not always achieved. Maybe sometimes I did not actually try hard enough to have and display the best character. Perhaps I was more selfish and stupid than I imagined. I don’t know. What I do know is that thinking about all of this, while uncomfortable, is the first step on the road to figuring things out.

I’ve always been one for learning to let oneself off the hook for mistakes made along the road of life. We all make mistakes, no matter how much we try not to, so it’s probably best to adopt a realistic attitude concerning regret. Learn from it, but don’t let it dominate everything that you do moving forward.

But perhaps you should not let yourself off the hook for a lack of character until you’ve figured it out and addressed it. None of us has forever to get this done. Maybe an occasional good, swift kick in the rear is just the tonic for what ails us. In this regard, neuroplasticity is a good thing. And a bit of occasional forced introspection just might be the thing to move this process along before it’s too late.

So there you go. If effort counts, I’m in good shape. If it’s just the results, I clearly have some work to do. I daresay this may apply to many of you as well. I think that we can all get to where we need to be; it’s just a matter of maintaining the right amount of momentum in the right direction.

I’ll see you along the way.

Associated Press and Idaho Press Club-winning columnist Martin Hackworth of Pocatello is a physicist, writer, and retired Idaho State University faculty member who now spends his time with family, riding bicycles and motorcycles, and arranging and playing music. Follow him on Twitter @MartinHackworth